Developing emotional intelligence: Why you need to retrain leadership – and what the research says

Reading time: approx. 6–8 minutes

Do you know that moment?

A meeting suddenly takes a turn for the worse. A comment hits harder than expected. The atmosphere in the room changes – subtly, but noticeably.

And although everyone remains objective, it's clear: this is no longer just about facts.

Leadership is decided precisely in these moments. Not in strategy documents. Not in mission statements. But in how emotions are handled.

The crucial question, therefore, is not: Should you lead with emotional intelligence?

But: Are you training it systematically – or are you hoping it will somehow work out?

Research over the past few decades is clear: Emotional intelligence is measurable and a key factor for mental health at work. And above all: It can be trained.

What emotional intelligence really means scientifically

The term was coined in 1990 by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer . They define emotional intelligence as:

The ability to perceive, understand, utilize, and regulate emotions.

It's important to understand that emotional intelligence isn't a nice-to-have quality. It's a cognitive ability – and therefore, like any other cognitive ability, we can improve it.

Why emotional intelligence is becoming the foundation of healthy leadership

1. Relationship to leadership success

A large meta-analysis by Dana L. Joseph & Newman (2010) with over 27,000 participants shows:

Emotional intelligence is significantly related to:

• Work performance

• Leadership behavior

• Team cooperation

In other words, the better you navigate emotions, the more effectively you lead.

2. Stress reduction and burnout prevention

Maria Mikolajczak 's research shows that higher emotional intelligence acts as a protective factor against work-related stress – especially through better emotion regulation .

If you don't proactively regulate your own stress responses, your nervous system will regulate them automatically, often using mechanisms that may help in the short term but do not contribute to long-term stress reduction.

What happens in your brain when emotions take over

James J. Gross 's emotion regulation research shows :

Suppressing emotions increases physiological stress responses. Cognitive reappraisal, on the other hand, activates prefrontal control networks – precisely those areas responsible for making sound decisions.

This means that emotional intelligence is not a "soft skill". It is neurobiological leadership.

The invisible lever: Emotional contagion

A groundbreaking study by Sigal Barsade (2002) shows that emotions are measurably transmitted within teams – even without direct communication.

Your basic emotional attitude influences:

• Willingness to cooperate

• Conflict dynamics

• Performance

In short: You are culture – whether consciously or unconsciously.

How to systematically train your emotional intelligence

Now it gets interesting. Because yes – emotional intelligence can be trained.

But not through one-off workshops with a few nice flipcharts and PowerPoint slides.

But through repeated, structured training on four levels:

1. Sharpen self-awareness

Before you can understand others, you must understand yourself.

Practical approaches:

• After difficult conversations, consciously reflect: What triggered me?

• Emotional check-ins before important decisions

• 360° feedback on the emotional impact of your leadership

Goal: To increase the time between stimulus and response.

2. Train emotion regulation

Reappraisal can be learned.

Specifically, this means:

• Changing perspectives when dealing with criticism

• Stress simulations with feedback

• Analysis of own stress patterns

The better you regulate your emotions, the clearer your decisions will be.

3. Operationalizing empathic communication

Empathy is not a feeling – it is a skill.

Studies by Amy Edmondson show that perceived psychological safety significantly increases innovation and learning behavior.

Psychological safety arises when people feel emotionally taken seriously.

And this can be trained:

• Active listening with mirrors

• Perspective-taking

• Conscious validation of emotions

4. Consciously shaping emotional culture

Emotional intelligence doesn't end with you.

You set standards:

• Is it permissible to show uncertainty?

• How do we react to mistakes?

• How do we talk about stress?

This is where it's decided whether mental health is truly practiced.

Conclusion:

If you want to strengthen mental health in your company, you need to actively promote emotional intelligence, especially in the first step among leaders.

Emotional intelligence means:

• Perceive emotions accurately

• Consciously regulate stress

• Managing conflicts constructively

• Enable psychological safety

Perhaps the crucial question is not: "Am I empathetic enough?"

Rather: "Do I train this skill as consistently as any other leadership skill?"

If you want to do more than just briefly touch on emotional intelligence in your organization, but develop it based on evidence, then let's talk.

In my talks, keynotes and workshops, I combine neuroscientific findings with concrete leadership applications – for the sustainable promotion of emotional intelligence in your teams.

Let's get in touch!

💭 Reflection questions to take away:

1. What emotion do you currently bring most often to your team?

2. When was the last time you consciously paused before reacting?

3. What emotional patterns repeat themselves in your everyday leadership?

4. And what would change if you trained them systematically?

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